I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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