My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
It's shark week go big or go home
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
