I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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