Sober January is a disaster.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
