Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(207): View more from Maine

it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.

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(630): View more from Illinois

I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...

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(817): View more from Texas

they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life

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(512): View more from Texas

I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(702): View more from Nevada

I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer

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(817): View more from Texas

I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs

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(979): View more from Texas

There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.

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(510): View more from California

Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?

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(812): View more from Indiana

I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!

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