My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
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Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
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you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.