Texts From Last Night

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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Beat you to it.

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  (515): Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card? (847): Beat you to it. http://tfl.nu/fyxy
  Replies (9) Good night (1714) Bad night (552)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.

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  (802): Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye. http://tfl.nu/qfl2
  Replies (1) Good night (1041) Bad night (622)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.

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  (212): Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe. http://tfl.nu/iy4x
  Replies (17) Good night (1881) Bad night (881)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"

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  (607): then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother" http://tfl.nu/te5y
  Replies (19) Good night (1033) Bad night (4485)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong

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  (240): Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong http://tfl.nu/kgfp
  Replies (19) Good night (3693) Bad night (1693)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.

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  (716): Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public. http://tfl.nu/lwyj
  Replies (16) Good night (1542) Bad night (3682)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back

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  (+44): Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back http://tfl.nu/tdhe
  Replies (12) Good night (973) Bad night (4627)
• Favorite

  (226): View more from Ontario

  We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom

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  (226): We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom http://tfl.nu/piiz
  Replies (21) Good night (1480) Bad night (4765)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Who is this?

  (1-603): View more from New Hampshire

  You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?

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  (603): Who is this? (1-603): You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo (603): Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this? http://tfl.nu/iabt
  Replies (5) Good night (2636) Bad night (999)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is

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  (720): I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is http://tfl.nu/velj
  Replies (6) Good night (969) Bad night (403)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  So much rum. So many feels.

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  (360): So much rum. So many feels. http://tfl.nu/mt6s
  Replies (0) Good night (653) Bad night (310)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.

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  (517): She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off. http://tfl.nu/rnkc
  Replies (1) Good night (402) Bad night (576)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.

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  (206): You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose. http://tfl.nu/ks8l
  Replies (1) Good night (766) Bad night (522)
• Favorite

  (424): View more from California

  Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.

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  (424): Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner. http://tfl.nu/wg9u
  Replies (3) Good night (585) Bad night (255)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  It's definitely revenge time.

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  (248): I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes. (1-248): It's definitely revenge time. http://tfl.nu/qj5v
  Replies (1) Good night (495) Bad night (285)

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