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• (847): View more from Illinois

  I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  I wish facebook had a fuck off button.

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• (607): View more from New York

  She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (214): View more from Texas

  She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.

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• (559): View more from California

  Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne

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• (912): View more from Georgia

  I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule

  (1-775): View more from Nevada

  Thats your rule and this car is nice

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs

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• (415): View more from California

  nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day

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