Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...