we made out on top of his cat.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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