Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?