i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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