The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
