Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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