I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
