I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
