I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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