How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
