I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
i believe in u and ur pee
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
