At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
