3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
