Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
