THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
