I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
i think my cat just said my name.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
