i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
