If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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