She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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