She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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