Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
