I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a shit load of segways right now
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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