Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
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