both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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