I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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