it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
