last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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