Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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