I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
