Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
...so i touched it.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
