Jerry, you need to find god
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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