lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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