there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I got inside last night via doggy door
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
