too bad you live with your parents still
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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