He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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