Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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