IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
