I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize