things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
