it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
