Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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