FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
