there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
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