just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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