I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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