my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
