she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize