I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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