glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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