Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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