and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
That's when you crack a 10am beer
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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