Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
