my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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