During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
