i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
