Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'm bleeding and have questions
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
